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I Heart Me: The Science of Self-Love, by David Hamilton
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How much love do you have for yourself?
Not the narcissistic 'Aren't I wonderful' kind of love, but the essential regard for self that empowers you and helps you navigate through life. The type of love that enables you to feel safe and secure in who you are and inspires you to make choices that are good for your authentic self.
When scientist David Hamilton realized that his own lack of self-love was sabotaging him in hundreds of subtle ways and more than a handful of major ways, he devised an experiment using himself as the guinea pig. For more than a year David studied the latest research into brain chemistry, neuroscience, and psychotherapeutic and personal development techniques. He realized that self-love was as much about biology as psychology - that self-worth is in our genes, but trained out of us. The biological drive to seek connection with others often leads us to try to be 'someone else' to win love and approval. But the brain can be reprogrammed, and David devised 27 powerful exercises that he tested on himself and presents in the book to help you:
- Increase your own level of self-worth
- Connect powerfully with your authentic self
- Attain a greater sense of happiness and general wellbeing
- Create stronger and more real connections with others
- Sales Rank: #78399 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-02-13
- Released on: 2015-02-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Why is this not required reading? Why is this not the first book we're handed in life? It definitely should be. -- Pam Grout, author of 17 books including New York Times bestseller E-Squared Very impressive. Red magazine You will be touched by the profound wisdom held in the pages of this book, and inspired by the simple ways in which you can achieve significant breakthroughs in your own self-love journey. Kindred Spirit It is guaranteed to make you feel better about yourself than you ever have before. No. 1 Magazine David Hamilton has the unique gift of combining spirituality and science in a simple but powerful way. Everyone must read his work! -- Suzy Greaves Psychologies In this inspirational and truly transformational new book, best-selling author David Hamilton fuses science with self-help to offer simple yet powerful strategies for learning to love yourself. Best You The book is packed with powerful exercises designed to increase your level of self worth, which will make you stronger and happier. Interesting and thought-provoking stuff. The Sun
About the Author
Dr David Hamilton worked in the pharmaceutical industry for four years after gaining his PhD. Now a bestselling author, he travels the world offering workshops to help people understand the power of the mind on the body. David also blogs for The Huffington Post. www.drdavidhamilton.com
Most helpful customer reviews
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
With self-love, life opens up like a beautiful flower, embracing you
By Sarah Rose
I Heart Me is the greatest Valentines Day release, as without self-love, we have nothing to offer to another (except mutual dysfunctional sharing of wounded patterns). Hamilton delves deep into those sensitive places, using such profound sweetness and kindness, sharing his own tears and stories, and encouraging you to encompass your story. The book offers an opportunity to unearth buried emotional and mental beliefs, so that you can transcend them.
There is renewal once you begin to face your patterns, by travelling to the core memory and looking at how situations make you feel like you are right back there, responding as you originally did as a child. Hamilton is talented and wise, guiding you through every nuance, healing your mind and heart towards perfect functioning.
I found the chapter on shame highly useful. During the time I experienced childhood, shame was the number one tool used by parents, teachers and others in authority to force a child to behave. Children were taught to be ashamed of almost anything that was not in alignment to their parents wishes, often including simple needs at times that were inconvenient to their parents. The teaching really shares insights and tools to move beyond the false concepts, rather than enter into blame games.
Following the advice, one feels lighter, clearer, stronger and renewed.
There are so many valuable exercises shared, new levels of knowledge to integrate.
With self-love, life opens up like a beautiful flower, embracing you.
I have read so many wonderfully enlightening books lately, all preparing the way for fully understanding and assimilating this wonderful book by Hamilton. The author's humility made the opening of this path possible for those who are ready.
My personal favourite chapter is The Law of Personal Gravity. Hamilton suggests that we attract greater depth and quality of connection when we are authentic. Conversely, when we lack authenticity, we may find ourself surrounded by people that we feel uncomfortable around. Also, you may not be at ease with your own true self!
Hamilton continues to explain that authenticity equates and correlates directly to feeling good, making us more productive, insightful and creative, manifesting as success. All this, and more, is a gift of personal gravity, as events and opportunities are drawn unto us by the power of gravity.
Also worth reading is The Law of Personal Repulsion.The author explains how we unintentionally push away that which we would rather draw near to us. Also, that we do not need to be already living a perfect life to feel peace, rather this occurs through acceptance of our life as it is.
Following on, Hamilton advises us that we will continue to grow once we accept ourselves, infact more so, from a greater sense of self-worth. We will still experience challenges that stimulate growth, but we will have a healthy mind set with which to rise to meet such.
Self-Compassion is the topic for Chapter Ten, and includes many gems for your life toolbox. The author compares self-love, self-esteem and self-compassion. Self-esteem is dependant upon success, and so variable according to circumstances. Self-love includes self-compassion. How Hamilton describes true self-love may heal your life:-
When we have true self-love, when disappointment comes, we understand that it's OK. These things happen. We know we aren't a failure, it's just that something hasn't turned out quite right. We understand that we need support, kindness and compassion and that we're entitled to it. So we offer ourselves support and kindness, or even seek some extra in the arms of a loved one or friend, but we're doing so because we know that we deserve it. We are enough.
With self-compassion, disappointment is not nearly so painful. Self-compassion also helps us to extract our worth from our successes and achievements, reinforcing that we are enough. And when we're striving for a goal, it stops us judging ourselves as not enough right up until we achieve that goal.
Self-compassion also reduces stress-induced inflammation thus protects biology. This illustrates how powerful it is, as so many health conditions originate from biological inflammation. Hamilton states that self-criticism is self-inflammation. Loving kindness meditation can aleviate this over-reaction in the body. Tone down the inner harshness! Learn the benefits of striking a compassion pose (like a power pose).
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
I give this wonderful book as many stars as there are in the universe - Absolutely BRILLIANT!
By SageCitrine
From my grateful heart to yours - Thank You David Hamilton for this life changing book! I highly recommend this to anyone on their journey who has finally had enough and wants to be enough. I have waited 50 years for this well-written book that guides you and takes you to the Self-Love Gym to help you heal and learn how to love yourself so you can be free to live the life you want.
It was perfect for someone like me who has always been stuck between reality (science/fact) and spirituality (belief/faith) and wants to reprogram their negative "knowing" about themselves. The fact that he is a scientist and has lived this truth himself and willingly shares his own vulnerability, makes it that more potent and powerful. Plus, it feels like you have a close, non-judgmental, loving friend holding your hand and speaking just to you.
So if you are ready and open to change your life and feel good about yourself, do yourself a favor and get this book and do the exercises. And be sure to sign up for his "I Heart Me Daily Boost" emails at his website and feel good about yourself every day. You are enough. Hugs. :)
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Very readable, well-written book, containing useful exercises on improving your self-love
By Iona Main Stewart
David Hamilton is one of my favourite authors and the subject of this book is an important one – loving yourself. It is the basis of success in life and the ability to attract abundance. Love is the essence of the universe and we are at the centre of our universe. (This is my comment, not David's.)
The book has been blessed with a foreword by the amazing Anita Moorjani.
The book is well-written, which is a must for me, and very readable.
The author is completely open, honest and unguarded, and does not write the book from a stance of being further on on the path than ourselves, but confesses that it was difficult to write it, since he first had to do the work of learning how to love himself.
He recounts various situations from his own life when he came up short owing to a lack of a feeling of self-worth, but found strategies by which to overcome this feeling and these challenges.
We are introduced to David's Labrador puppy, Oscar, who “played a massive part” in his growth in self-love. Oscar gave David the gift of knowing he was worthy of love, and loved him so much it was impossible not to accept it. When Oscar passed on, David realized that Oscar had opened his heart so very wide that he had “a simmering affection” for everyone.
There are three stages in self-love. You are born full of self-love, but lose it gradually in the first six or seven years of your life. Then the lack of self-love becomes normal for you and becomes wired into your brain.
Stage 1 is feeling “I'm not enough”. Here David tells us of his time at school, where he was bullied. Stage 2 is “I've had enough” – had enough of being bullied, feeling small, feeling scared. He shares an episode about the time when, as an adult, he was holding a talk for a group of schoolteachers, and was bullied by five persons in the audience. He was just about to tell the bullies what he thought of them and leave, when the situation was resolved with the help of a young girl in the audience. David's stories are enlightening and entertaining.
Stage 3 is “I am enough”. At this stage we don't feel any need to prove our worth or agree with anyone, nor do we need people to like us.
A valuable part of the book is what David terms “The Self-Love Gym” – a series of exercises to increase our self-love. These exercises are sprinkled throughout the book.
Chapter Two deals with how we lose our self-love/sense of self-worth as children by being shamed, being criticized, and through observation. On reading this most of us will get flashbacks of painful episodes from our own childhood.
David teaches us how to use our body to change how we feel. We learn to fake it and make it – the Harvard Power Pose. We learn to put on a big smile and make ourselves bigger by adopting a “confident, 'high-power' posture. This pose produces confidence. A weak pose induces fear. It is a fact that how we function is affected by how we hold our body, Doing a power pose in your head will also have the same effect. When you stand as though you're enough, you will wire your brain networks.
The “I am enough” pose is one of the most valuable exercises in the Self-Love gym.
We learn the three rules of mental practice – Repetition! Repetition!, Repetition We learn to become a Self-Love Olympian by mental practice/visualization.
This is a great book, and it gets better and better. We learn about what the author calls “Extracting the I am” – noting a list of things we are ashamed of, and ending by transforming these into a positive ”I am” statement, e.g. I am intelligent, good with money or whatever.
We also learn David's celebratory dance, his victory dance. He calls this “Dancing the shame away”.
All this should be enough for you to get a good idea of the benefits offered by this book.
We all need more self-love, as self-love is the basis on which we can build a successful life. I strongly advise you to read this rewarding book penned by this articulate and lovable author.
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