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How to Understand and Accept Your Gay Son: (Even If You're Not Sure You Can), by Grant Andrews, Malan van der Walt
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This book will give you all the tools you need to understand and accept your gay son How can you accept your gay son? If you have just found out that your son is gay, or if you think he might be, you might find it overwhelming and have lots of questions and confusion. You might wonder what made him this way, or wonder what it means for his life. You could be feeling afraid, heartbroken or disappointed. Maybe you’re hoping that this is just a phase that he will grow out of. You might even feel like you don’t know who he is anymore and wonder if there is any way to truly accept him. Our parents have been there too We struggled immensely with coming out to our parents, and they struggled to understand and accept us. That is why we decided to write this book. We both had deeply religious backgrounds and in our families being gay was never even talked about. When we realized that we were gay, we started out hating ourselves and trying everything to change. When we told our parents, they were angry and confused. They couldn’t reconcile what they believed in about gay people with the fact that their own sons were gay. This book can help you to understand what being gay means In the book, we offer all of the information that you need about what being gay means. We give you clear, direct, and no-nonsense answers to the questions you might still have, such as: - Is homosexuality a choice - Is there a way to change him? - Whose fault is it that my son is gay? - How does it relate to my religious views? - What does this mean for my son’s future? Learn what to say to your son It might be very difficult to know what the right thing is to say to your son when you find out he is gay. We offer many examples of the types of things you can say during those difficult, awkward conversations. The dialogues we provide are written in loving, supportive language. You can use them to make sure that your son knows how you feel while talking to him in a way that can make your relationship stronger. There are a variety of these example dialogues for many different situations, including: - What to say if you think he might be gay - What to say when he comes out to you - What to say if he finds a partner - How to talk to him about your confusion - What not to say if you want to keep your relationship intact - What to say to other family members Learn some practical steps to accept your son The final section of the book gives you lots of clear, practical steps that you can take in order to learn to accept your son for who he is. Once you understand what it means to be gay, you can start the work of building a new and stronger relationship with your son. We give you guidelines to overcome your discomfort and resources that you can rely on during your journey. Highly trained authors who are experts in the field We have personal experience as we both walked a long path with our parents once we came out. We also work in fields relevant to LGBT issues and family research. Grant Andrews is currently completing his PhD at the University of the Western Cape, with a focus on fatherhood and masculinities. He is a researcher and lecturer. His professional focus is on leadership development and capacity building. Malan van der Walt is a student program coordinator at the University of Stellenbosch, working with young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. He studies psychology with a focus on gender and sexuality. He works as a counselor and runs support groups. Get this book today and start a journey of acceptance with your son We wrote this book to make sure that families have all of the resources they need to work through this difficult time. This book will give you vital tools to strengthen your bond with your gay son.
- Sales Rank: #240213 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-08
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .36" w x 5.25" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 156 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
A resource that helps parents understand their gay son and deal with their misconceptions and fears. A must read!
By Rudi Hamman
We are blessed to live in a modern society where more and more acceptance is shown towards different orientations that do not conform to the conservative rules. However there still exist the ongoing problems regarding the coming out to parents and the emotional strain involved between parents, family and there gay son. Parents are more willing to accept and understand their gay son these days but lack the resources and tools to do so.
The authors have crafted a tool and resource to help parents understand their gay son. I resource based on personal experience, research and help from the community that is long overdue. I recently kicked down the closet door to my father and it was a shock to him like most parents would experience. However as I am in my late 20's their is not much my father could do but accept me for who I am. Fortunately I am blessed with a open relationship with my father and the gay topic is often spoken of. I found that even though my father accepts me he is struggling with understanding and that lack of understandig manifests as fears. As humans we fear those things that we do not understand and put up barriers to help protect us from those fears. Like rejecting our sons, being ashamed, anger and denial are all because of the fear from lack of understanding what being gay is all about. Hence I sent this book to my father to read so that he can deal with his misconceptions and fears.
This book, which I refer to as a resource as it needs to be used, helps parents understand and deal with the fears they have. Allowing parents to see how normal a gay son can be and that it is still the same son you had before you found out he is gay. So in conclusion it is up to the parents to seek understanding regarding their gay son and since this resource exists there is no more excuse to not try. If you love your son, want him to feel comfortable talking to you about his life as a gay man and want him to have a normal life you best click on the download button right now.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A helpful and informative read.
By Joy Wilson
Thank you for this very informative book which has helped me understand how to handle the more delicate scenarios that need to be discussed by our family with my gorgeous grandson. Coming from the older generation and listening to the prejudices handed on by my parents it is indeed satisfying to find explanations of how being gay comes to pass and how to make sure we as a family can support our family member and hopefully guide his way through the many prejudices that have to be disspelled in our society and to keep him safe in the process of coming out.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Christian Parents please read
By Laura R Keith
This book was very helpful. My 16 yr old son told me he was gay & I fell apart. I come from a strict fundamental evangelical Christian background and have always thought that homosexuality is a sin. I'm trying very hard to understand because I love my son so much. This book has helped me to understand many things about the light that I never knew. 2 thumbs up!
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