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Trauma, Shame, and the Power of Love: The Fall and Rise of a Physician Who Heals Himself, by Christopher E Pelloski MD
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Silver Medal Winner of the 2016 Living Now Book Awards.
Bronze Medal Winner of the 2016 Global Ebook Awards.
Awarded the Readers’ Favorite® 5-Star Seal (2015).
There is a reason books that recount the regrets and advice of the dying strike so deep a chord: people who have nothing left to lose can tell their stories with a sincerity and unpretentiousness we crave but that is all too rare. In "Trauma, Shame, and the Power of Love,” Christopher Pelloski relates his own downfall from a prominent physician-scientist in the field of radiation oncology in a similarly candid way.
Without fear of losing society’s good opinion—having lost it already—Pelloski has the freedom to be sharply honest in his observations of himself and the world around him. To the question “Why would someone with so much going for him risk, and then lose, everything, by sinking so low?” he offers a gut-wrenching, soul-baring answer that dissects his decades-long downward spiral and examines it from perspectives that range from the historical to the molecular.
Pelloski chronicles the evolution of his devastating legal battle alongside his concurrent journey of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. He shares with us the lessons he learned from these experiences in the hope they can serve as both a warning and an invitation: a warning to abuse survivors not to follow his dark path of silence, and an invitation to society to deal more openly with the multitude of painful issues that have shaped not only his life but also, tragically, the lives of so many others.
Those brave enough to set aside their prejudices and preconceptions will be richly rewarded and challenged by this work.
- Sales Rank: #515532 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-02-13
- Released on: 2015-02-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
CHRISTOPHER E. PELLOSKI earned his medical degree from the Northwestern University Medical School in Chicago in 2001. He was accepted into the Radiation Oncology Residency Training Program and eventually joined the faculty at the University of Texas – MD Anderson Cancer Center, in Houston, one of the top cancer centers in the world. After his recruitment to the Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center in 2010, he ran a full clinical practice, supervised his own basic-science research laboratory, and served as his department’s Residency Program Director and as the Director of Pediatric Radiation Oncology.
Pelloski is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and subsequently suffered throughout most of his life with undiagnosed and untreated Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, with Dissociative Features.
In the summer of 2013, his personal, public, and professional life came to a painful reckoning.
Author's Website: http://cepbooks.com
______________________________________________ PRAISE FOR TRAUMA, SHAME, AND THE POWER OF LOVEReaders' Favorite® Reviews: https://readersfavorite.com/book-review/50385
“A remarkable contribution to the growing body of literature that brings to light the mounting casualties of our nation's current 'War on Sex Crimes.'”—Lisa Zilney, Ph.D., Montclair University author of "Reconsidering Sex Crimes: Prosecution or Persecution?"
“An inspiring story of a man's courageous journey through childhood sexual abuse, generational trauma, public humiliation and ultimately healing.”—Michelle Risser, MSW-LISW
“'Trauma, Shame, and the Power of Love' is a wake-up call that has been long overdue for physicians who suffer in an uncaring culture of silence.”—Eugene Huang, M.D.
“...[It] was one of those “wow” books. This really is one of the most powerful books I have ever read; it is raw and it is harsh but it is real life and that never runs smoothly. Dr Pelloski has written a very open, honest and deeply revealing book…”—Anne-Marie Reynolds, Readers’ Favorite
“I admire the author for baring his soul to the world as it takes a lot of courage to come out in the open with something like this. The pain and the humiliation felt by the author is palpable throughout the book. The author's story will both depress and infuriate readers, but it is also a story of healing and redemption.”—Mamta Madhavan, Readers’ Favorite
Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Take a chance; challenge your perceptions
By Gary Elrod
I am too close to this story to provide a honest review as I am a named character; yet, I must cast my recommendation to read this this tale despite any discomfort that may result. In the end, you may find yourself in Dr. Pelloski's camp or you may cast him into an abyss of unforgivable criminality despite his proven and potential contribution to humankind. Truly, it doesn't matter. The discussion is the objective, the current outcome is a given.
My bias does not erase my confusion nor does his written word erase my doubts and feelings of broken trust. Nonetheless, the story is powerful, sad, and throught provoking. If you shed no tears for him, read along and shed them for his family and those just like his.
The book pulls back the curtain on both unspoken abuse and, separately and combined, crimes that are all too common in today's file share, internet driven world. Seemingly contradictory, Dr. Pelloski is able to discuss them in a coupled and disconnected fashion. Each argument, excuse, or cause - it all depends on your frame of reference or bias - ultimately stands alone as an important read. My final opinion will always be a work in progress, but so is life for the thoughtful. I recommend you take the leap. Even when the unthinkable is involved.
Even as a reluctant, but very active, participant, please take me at my word that this topic will only tragically grow in importance. If nothing else, this is an honest attempt at healing and a chance to open a line of communication about a subject so taboo, we are often too terrified to discuss.
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
I Was Dr. Pelloski's Academic/Clinical Assistant and Chris Pelloski's Friend
By Irene A. Snyder
Dr. Pelloski hired me five years ago from a pool of seven candidates because of my extensive research background. I think he was surprised at first that I was hip like himself, and that we shared the same interests in music, art and pop culture. We also shared the same sense of humor and laughed together every day! It cracked me up that he would play Mozart while planning his patient's radiation treatments and then play rap while writing research papers. We became fast friends, and it was a pleasure to come in to work every day knowing that we would be productive but also would be having fun doing the work. He trusted me to protect him and his very tight schedule, and I was completely protective of his fragile moments. It broke my heart each time he would lose a patient to cancer (especially the kids, ironically) because he would close his office door and grieve privately. I am certain that he was a brilliant radiation oncologist who cared for all of his patients as if they were his own family members. Chris also took special interest in the people in his lab, and he wanted everyone to prosper and achieve great things.
I have cried a river of tears over what has happened these last two years. His book is very well written, as were all of his research publications we worked on together, and I was honored that he mentions me a few times in his book when he refers to his 'Assistant.' His book has greatly helped me to better understand what was really happening to him. One of the things that I most regret is that I didn't push him harder to get psychological counseling when it was obvious that he was hurting. Of course I had no idea about the abuse he suffered as a child, but I could sense that something was really wrong and I was very concerned. I also feel guilty about being angry at him for so long. Looking back, I think my anger was a result of feeling betrayed because he presented himself as a genuine nice guy while masking his dark side, and he did that willingly because he never reached out for professional treatment. 'Physician heal thyself?' It is entirely impossible to do alone. I also feel badly that I failed to give him my support when he needed it most, but I was convinced after talking extensively with a couple of senior administrative officials that I could lose my job if I testified on his behalf. And just what could I have offered on his behalf in court at that time? That I was painfully aware that he was falling apart emotionally and that he would get furious at coworkers for minor issues and then send inflammatory emails only to apologize immediately after for them? He was under tremendous stress all the way around, and the biggest issue, of course, was keeping the terrible secret of his sexual abuse as a child within for so many years. So of course he had to relieve it in the only way he knew how--as perverted as that seemed to me and to a whole lot of others who loved and respected him.
When the story broke, it made me physically sick. While driving home that day, I actually had to pull over and vomit. I've never experienced anything so traumatic, even though I've lost both parents, my only sibling and several beloved pets. My brain could not process nor reconcile what he had done with the person that I thought I knew and definitely adored. Even though I'm about the same age as his mother, our relationship was more as siblings; he was like a younger brother and I an older sister. After he resigned from OSU, I requested that I be the one to pack up his office and inventory his things. I closed his office door, and as I took down each one of his framed degrees to pack in bubble wrap, I wept uncontrollably. As I looked at each one of those prestigious certificates, I was thinking of all of the work, time, money and brilliant talent that he had invested into achieving those terrific milestones, and because of what he did, they were all gone instantly. It was also a tragic realization to me that our friendship, let alone the status of my position at The James would be forever changed. It was humiliating after the story broke to think that the parents of the pediatric patients would always wonder if he had touched their children inappropriately, although everyone on staff knew that just wasn't possible, let alone conceivable. The kids loved him, as did his adult patients and everyone else in the department.
I truly miss my friend and wish the best life has to offer him and his family. I have to agree that writing about my experience with this incident is very therapeutic, as it must have been for Chris with his poignant book. It helps me to share my feelings here, although I'm typing this through even more tears.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Read this book with an open mind.
By Bert W Carrier
Every controversial and important social issue has more than one side. The ongoing phenomenon of easily accessible child pornography is no different. More and more people are arrested and convicted for viewing these images online every day. When they are caught, as Judge Graham so aptly put it “Reputations are shattered, careers are ended, and families are destroyed. Suicides are not uncommon. The human costs are staggering...”
Because child pornography is so easily accessible, and virtually anyone has access to the internet, we as a society are going to have to deal with an ever-increasing number of people convicted of this crime. This very important book raises questions that we will have to answer in the coming years. Is there ever an excuse for clicking and viewing these terrible images? Should a person's state of mind and personal reasons for viewing child pornography be taken into account before we brand them a felon for life? Should courts have the authority to adjust sentences because of mitigating factors? What if the guilty person was themselves a victim of child pornographers? Is incarceration the right way to handle people who commit this crime? Would it be better to provide help, or should punishment be the only goal?
Unfortunately, many people will come to this discussion, and this very important book with their minds already made up. It is not uncommon to find people with the mentality that anyone who clicks on child pornography deserves to be locked up, and the key thrown away.
Even if you feel like anyone who views child pornography should be drawn and quartered, and then doomed to burn eternally in the fires of Hell, I urge you to read this book with an open mind. What if it were your friend, family member, or loved one in Chris Pelloski's shoes?
Dr. Pelloski's life will never be the same, and he's got a long road ahead of him to rebuild his life. He didn't have to write this book, but I'm grateful that he took the time and effort to do so. It took a lot of courage to open up his life for public examination.
The problem of child pornography is likely to get worse in the future rather than go away. This well-written book is destined to be a landmark in the coming discussion on how we are going to deal with this problem as a society.
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